(old) Fluid Retention

Karen always calls in on Tuesdays and Thursdays because those are the week days that she goes for dialysis. The process always makes her depressed, so she likes to call in to see me on her way because she says I cheer her up.

We usually get lunch in a Gregg's sandwich shop around the corner from the shop. She'll get some variation of chicken salad. I always get plain ham sandwiches and Dr Pepper. We sit in the stock room where I work, and she talks. She talks almost all of the time, which I like because I don't. She tells me about her day, the hospital, the nurses who are (in her words) bitches, the weather (shitty shitty English weather specifically) and asks me how my job is going.

I always tell her that the shop is doing well, and talk about the impending Christmas. She says that she likes my voice and stays for a few minutes longer than she is supposed to, so she is always late for the hospital. My work fellows always tease me afterwards, calling her my girlfriend even though I tell them that she isn't. Karen is my older half sister, but I haven't told them that. I like the pretend secrecy of it.

Today, she has more trouble than normal. She talked a lot about her friend Maria, who is Spanish, and her problems. Maria is due to get married to some Australian banker who works in the City, and apparently it's a source of drama. While Karen talked, I ate. Then she said:

'My ankles are swollen, which means fluid retention. I think I have another infection. What do you think?'

I kept chewing and said nothing.

Karen has been on dialysis for two and a half years. She used to be really alive, but now she always looks tired, her hair is greasy and her skin never looks good. I've told her about all the local gyms in our area, and she thanked me each and every time. Karen always thanks me for everything I do for her. I don't think she takes the idea seriously though.

'Would you come visit me some time?' she asked as I was finishing my sandwich, 'Mother hasn't seen you in ages.' Her mum, she means. They've lived together since Karen's kidneys stopped working.

'I have to go back,' I said, just like always.

She smiled, 'Thanks. It's good that you're busy again.'

Everybody is saying this to me recently.